i no not love my father.

i am in love with Peter.

unsunglory asked: Hello there~ Thanks for the follow!
How've you been?

i’m alright, thanks muchly- love your tumblr

battlebear asked: Love the tumblr! I, too am one for the hyperbolic smut.

why thank you! it is a good thing. I just have to update this shit more, I’m stretched too far across the internet! :)

“Here is a lesson in creative writing. 

First rule: Do not use semicolons. They are transvestite hermaphrodites representing absolutely nothing. All they do is show you’ve been to college. 

And I realize some of you may be having trouble deciding whether I am kidding or not. So from now on I will tell you when I’m kidding. 

For instance, join the National Guard or the Marines and teach democracy. I’m kidding. 

We are about to be attacked by Al Qaeda. Wave flags if you have them. That always seems to scare them away. I’m kidding. 

If you want to really hurt your parents, and you don’t have the nerve to be gay, the least you can do is go into the arts. I’m not kidding. The arts are not a way to make a living. They are a very human way of making life more bearable. Practicing an art, no matter how well or badly, is a way to make your soul grow, for heaven’s sake. Sing in the shower. Dance to the radio. Tell stories. Write a poem to a friend, even a lousy poem. Do it as well as you possibly can. You will get an enormous reward. You will have created something.” 

-Kurt Vonnegut

“Dude, you haven’t followed through on a single end of your deal. How do I know you’re not just manipulating me so you can jack off to my naked body whenever you want? I said no more shows.”

“Listen, I asked for a slut, not a bitch. Now get on cam right now.”

I put some eyeliner on in the bathroom and set up my Mac for video chat.

“What do you want me to wear?”

“Just a thong. I wanna see that tight little ass.:

He was of course talking about my asshole, not the plumpness surrounding it. I went off camera for a second and came back wearing the thong my downstairs roommate forgot in the laundry room. It was tight and I did my best to disguise the fleshy bulges as my wide hips oozed out over the elastic. I then sat down primly in front of the screen, managing to conceal the parts I felt the need to be ashamed of. When he accepted the video feed I was crouched on my bed, knees in front of my chest, looking acceptable. His feed was, as usual, a black screen.

Somehow made me feel safer, though. I didn’t know if I could fully deprave myself with an audience if I could see said audience. You know, watching me, scrutinizing, possibly playing off total disgust with the fractional raise of the eyebrow.

“You ready to start takin orders, slut?”

I watched myself tilt my head and coyly smile in the bottom right corner of the chat-the two off-kilter lamps in the room were casting an asymmetrical shadow over half my face. It made my features look darker and more magnetic. I felt it worked in my favor. 

Then I realized my audience didn’t give a shit about the chic contour of my visage, and quite on queue the black screen demanded, “Let me see your goddamn ass!”

Time to start the show…